Tuesday, October 27, 2009

all the things she loves...

My daughter, Tiffany Raine turned 23 on Saturday.

In heaven.

I have not seen her, for almost twelve years.

Twelve years since she left us, suddenly one morning under a January holiday sky.

I think of her everyday, and especially on her birthday I wonder about the woman she might have become.
Here are some of the things I think would have been a part of her magical, happy life...

This is her porch, where she would have fed you delicious treats. Tiffany loved eating and preparing food. She was mostly plump, and we fought about too much eating a lot!She loved to lay a beautiful, abundant table and watch people feast. She would bring you a pot of tea in bed and take treats to anyone feeling ill.

Tiffy would have been all dolled up to meet you. She loved dressing up, and spent hours in front of the mirror, smoking an incense stick, enjoying her magnificence! She would have greeted you in her finest, and loved all things theatrical and luxurious. Her red hair was the perfect foil for bright colour.She wore green shades with an orange shirt, and we tried not to say anything!

This of course, is one of her shoes! Tiffy loved dressing up in mine, and dreamt of the day when she would have her own collection of glorious footwear. As high as possible!

This is her dressing room, because Tiffy would have needed lots of room to keep all the feminine accoutrement so necessary to a modern girls survival!She loved going to the old age home where her ancient great-nana lived, and buying fabulous old costume jewellery, for a few rand at the monthly fund raisers. The grannies adored her.

Tiffany rode around our neighbourhood on her trusty bicycle, and she would fetch me onions from the veg shop down the road, which were suddenly desperately needed for a recipe. After she died, all the shopkeepers, from the florist to the toyshop, the bistro to the bra shop came to tell me how they loved her...The nannies and chars, who would sit on the grass verges and chat in the afternoons, all wept at her passing.

This is Tiffany's dog. She would have had a menagerie, for she loved animals of all kinds and was always finding wounded birds, and small creatures to nurse. She had a white rat called Rascal, and once she travelled on a plane alone with him, and made a huge fuss when he was refused entry on board. In the end, she and Rascal sat in the front with the pilots, to make sure he did not escape and chew any wires! Tiff was delighted and loved being a 'celebrity', if only for a day!

Naturally Tiff would have some cats. All eccentrics do. She would have had a few exotics, and humiliated them by dressing them up. This would have only made her laugh with fiendish delight!

Tiffany loved birds and birdsong. But she would always start to pale at the sight of her caged darlings, and let them out, to fly wildly around her bedroom and poo on everything! Inevitably they would escape, and she would call longingly for days on end, from her upstairs window to her long-lost feathered friends...

This is Tiffy's table with a view. She always had to make each moment a full one. She was not a girl to sit with her back to the room. She wanted to breathe in all of the beauty in life with a generous, glad heart.

This is Tiffy's bed. A place to dream. Tiffany was a dreamer of all things magical. Her imagination took her into other worlds of immeasurable loveliness. She had a head full of hopes and dreams just waiting to materialise. Tiff was ever positive, enthusiastic and inspired. She once declared that boredom was a treat, because it offered you the chance to dream up new things to do.

This is her garden. Tiffany loved nature. For a long time, even years after she died we would find little items left by her in the garden. It was a place of adventure and possibility. A place to watch things grow...

And this is Tiff on the red carpet, because that girl was always going to be a star.

We miss you Darling. Everyday.




  1. Happy Birthday Tiffy! I feel very priviledged to have known you! Love Love Love

  2. I think it's adorable that you actually read my blog Rob! Thank you xxx

  3. Elle, Tiff was the absolute best. Her beautiful spirit, the way she intertwined lives and from heaven she brings so many smiles. She is still your friend, your smile and your rainbow all rolled into one.

  4. This post makes me sorry I never knew Tiffany while she was on this earth.
    thank you for sharing.

  5. Just to let you know that I am actually following: I imagine Tiff in a one woman show, a solo cabaret, herself aflame on a glowing stage.

  6. My darling angel 'BBFFE'....I miss her everyday.
    This is exactly how I would have imagined her to be Aunty Elle...whimsical,beautiful and gloriously Tiffy!
    Love you always
    Lar xxx