Monday, May 7, 2012
Of Worriers and Warriors.
It all started when I heard Mr Nielson better known as Sid, laugh out loud at the computer.
'I'm reading a letter from Steele', he informed me.
Our boy Steele has been traveling on a gap year these many months.
A letter is always an occasion.
I sank down on the bed with my ipad ready for a good read. He writes well, my boy.
It started just fine.
Steele had left the kibbutz near Eilat and having arrived in Jerusalem, made his way to Ben Yehuda street. He describes the sights and sounds of the street and then:
'I tried calling Benji ( a good family friend ) off a public phone but it wasn't going through, so I was a little stranded. I was also desperate to get to the City/Man United Derby. Next thing I know, this 50 year old guy from North Carolina, ( the place where I will be working as a camp Councillor come summer ) comes up to me and starts chatting. I tell him I'm looking for an internet cafe, so he invites me back to his apartment. His name is Roddy. I'm typing this to you all from his apartment right now. We really hit it off, and he has given me the keys to his apartment. I basically have my own, fully furnished, really nice apartment in the centre of Jerusalem!!! I have my own apartment, computer, washing machine...ah ha ha ha...the universe hey, ...'
While Mr Nielson chuckled at the marvels of an abundant universe, I sank into the depths of despair!
All through the night I envisaged the horrible fate that 'Roddy' had destined for my precious son. The kidney syndicate, the peadophile ring...the horrors!
I spent all night e-mailing every friend he knew in Israel.
And by morning had planned a 'Taken" like rescue, after all everybody knows the first 24 hours are crucial!
At about 9h 00 Steele mailed me on Facebook. He was staying at Benji and was appalled at my hysteria.
'I'm an adult mum, you have to trust my judgement. Roddy's a legend, a really decent family man. People do stuff like that here. They invite you for dinner, offer you a room for the night...Honestly mum, you need to have more faith. don't let your mind always take you into darkness...'
And he was right, of course.
With perfect synchronicity the days Counting of the Omer arrived in my inbox.
Day 25: Netzach of Netzach...Endurance in Endurance.
'Everyone has willpower and determination. We have the capacity to endure much more then we can imagine, and to prevail under the most trying of circumstances.'
It went on to ask, 'Instead of cultivating endurance in healthy areas, have I developed a capacity for endurance of unhealthy experiences?...'
The truth is that I give in too readily to my fears and wild imaginings.
Mr Nielson ( who refuses to read the newspaper or watch the news, and who is always the last to know of wars and catastrophes) is the Warrior, traversing life with the ultimate faith.
And I am the worrier...
As my boy finds beauty and makes music a midst the ancient stones of The Holy Land, I too must sing a song that finds the light...